I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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