My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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