Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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