Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
