If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
