You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
