So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
