Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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