so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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