Quick, to the slutcave!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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