I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize