Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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