apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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