I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
