listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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