Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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