and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
