No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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