we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
