sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
