we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
