1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
