Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
