New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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