Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
