Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
