I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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