i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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