i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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