Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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