We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
