OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
