Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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