marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
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