There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
