i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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