how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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