Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
