Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
