Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
