I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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