Walk of Shame. In a state park.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
