Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize