I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
