Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
