I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There r osticjed everywhere
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
