I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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