video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
