I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
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Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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