i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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