I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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