We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
