no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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