Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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