there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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