i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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