Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
