I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
