hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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