I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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