evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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