I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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