Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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