Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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