I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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