There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
